Endless Nights (lalee) wrote,
Endless Nights
lalee

For the hell of it...




I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled
on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In
fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run
haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was
sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of
The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white
skin, and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is
cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave," this pretty
little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in
a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence
darlin', 'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well, she
smiled, had about as much teeth as a jack-o-lantern, and I went on to tell her
how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then
she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Course, it's hard
to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my
fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is
jackhammerin' Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks
gives birth to something resemblin' a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa
Claus' tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes, and thirty dollars later I'm
parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back
at her trailer. That rhymes. I have to admit, it was even more of a turn-on when
I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave
the tranny a spin, and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig
Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of Throb, when I
saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just
dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You cannot imagine
how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed
gopher when you're doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought
missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud?

Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
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