Endless Nights (lalee) wrote,
Endless Nights

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This is what happens when you are quite bored...

Dungeons and dragons, Satan’s game. Your children like it or not are attracted in their weaker years to the occult and a game like D&D fuels their imagination and makes them feel special, while drawing the deeper and deeper into the bowels of El Diablo.
This afternoon the Dead Ale Wives Watchtower invites you to sit in on an actual gaming session. Observe the previously unobservable as a hidden camera takes you into the inner sanctum of

Graham: Galstaf you have entered the door to the North, you are now by yourself, standing a dark room, the pungent stench of mildew imitates from the wet dungeon wall.

Guy: Where’s the Cheetos?

Graham: They’re right next to you .

Galstaf: I cast a spell!

Guy: Where’s the Mountain Dew?

Graham: In the fridge, duh!

Galstaf: I wanna cast a spell!

Guy: Can I have a Mountain Dew?

Graham: Yes you can have a Mountain Dew just go get it.

Galstaf: I can cast any of these, right, on the list?

Graham: Yes, any of the first level ones.

Guy: I’m going to get a soda anyone want one? Hey Graham I’m not in the room right?

Graham: What room?

Galstaf: I want to cast magic missile!

Guy: The room he’s casting all these spells from.

Graham: He hasn’t cast anything yet..

Galstaf: I am though if you listen. I’m casting magic missile.

Graham: Why are you casting magic missile there’s nothing to attack here?

Galstaf: I’m attacking the darkness!

All: Laugh

Graham: Fine you attack the darkness. There’s an elf in front of you.

Galstaf: Whoa!

Elf: That’s me right?

Graham: He’s wearing a brown tunic and has gray hair and blue eyes.

Elf: No I don’t, I have gray eyes.

Graham: Let me see that sheet..

Elf: Well it says I have blue eyes but I decided I wanted gray eyes.

Graham: Whatever, you guys can talk to each other now if you want.

Galstaf: Hello.

Elf: Hello.

Galstaf: I am Galstaf Sorcerer of Light!

Elf: Then how come you had to cast magic missile?

All: Laugh

Graham: You guys are being attacked.

Guy: Do I see that happening?

Graham: No, you’re outside by the tavern!

Guy: Cool I get drunk!

Graham: There are seven ogres surrounding you.

Elf: How can they surround us I had Mortan Kiton’s Magical Watch Dog cast?

Graham: No you didn’t.

Guy: I’m getting drunk, are there any girls there?

Elf: I totally did you asked me if I wanted any equipment before this adventure and I said no but I need material components for all my spells. So I cast Mortan Kiton’s Faithful Watch Dog.

Graham: But you never actually cast it.

Guy: Roll the dice to see if I'm getting drunk!

Graham: Yah, you are.

Guy: Are there any girls there?

Graham: Yah.

Elf: I did though I completely said when you asked me..

Graham: No you didn’t! You didn’t actually say you were casting the spell so now there’s ogres, okay?

Guy: Ogres? Man I have an ogre slaying knife that does a plus 9 to ogres..

Graham: Your not there you’re getting drunk!

Guy: Well if there’s any girls there I want to do them!

There you have it a frightening look into America's most frightening past time remember that its not your children’s fault that they are being drawn into a satanic world of nightmare, its their gym teacher's fault for making them feel outcast when they couldn’t do one single pull up.
Tags: dnd
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